Parenting and Technology

Any parent is familiar with the idea of limiting “screen time” with their children, but, due to rapid advances in technology, parents today have a whole new expanse of concerns that former generations have never faced. The consequences of these decisions are bigger than you might suspect.  These days, you cannot watch the news without being faced with stories of children being lured away by online predators or bullied through online forums.  There are tons of books and resources advising parents on how to protect their children from these risks, but what about the quieter and more insidious issues technology presents for children?

First of all, screen time effects sleep.  The back lighting of any screen stimulates the human brain, interrupting REM cycles of sleep, so any screen time within half an hour of bedtime will prevent you from having quality sleep.  It is highly unlikely that our teenagers, who typically sleep with their phones next to their beds, are abstaining from screen time at least half an hour before bed.  This leaves us with a portion of the population (who already requires extra sleep due to biological changes occurring at this stage of their lives) feeling even more sleep deprived.  Poor school performance, low ability to regulate their emotions and poor attention span are just some of the things that can result from this sleep deprivation, which can compound over time.

Technology also appears to be creating children with lower empathic ability.  It is easy to be brazen or hurtful when you don’t have to look someone else in the eye and experience their reaction when you do it.  Kids have always had the capacity to be very cruel, especially in groups, but technology has offered them even more access with which to be cruel, intentionally or unintentionally.  Previous generations never had to worry about being excluded from a party and seeing the evidence of your exclusion on multiple social media platforms in real time.  All of this translates into generations of people who struggle with real human connection.  Think about the time before a class or seminar began or before a meeting at work when you would actually make small talk with others around you.  That small talk sometimes blossomed into friendships, and sometimes it didn’t, but it was all practice that made you feel more connected to your fellow man.  All of that has largely disappeared as we watch people looking at phones or tablets right up until (and sometimes even after) their attention is required.  Technology is isolating and is leading to higher levels of depression.  Even people who are not inclined toward depression can find it extremely isolating when they are struggling with challenges only to open Facebook and see how wonderful everyone else’s life seems to be.  This unfair comparison leads to a feeling that you are alone in your struggles which exacerbates depressive symptoms.

The final scary thing about technology is that it is addicting.  Who can ignore the recent New York Post article that likened Minecraft to digital heroin (this can be found on my home page for reference)?  The truth is that text messages and IM have been linked to dopamine release in your brain and have much the same effect as gambling.  Studies have shown that adolescents who begin using drugs or alcohol are much more likely to become addicts.  It seems that the over use of technology during these impressionable years could lead to similarly addicting outcomes.

Despite all the negative impacts that come from technology, there are a myriad of benefits too.  It is wonderful to be able to use cell phone tracking to know where your child is at all times, or to know they can reach you in emergencies.  Most schools use a lot of technology in the classroom to expand learning opportunities as well. 

So my advice is to teach your kids good technology habits.  Wait as long as possible before giving your child a phone.  Decide as a family when acquiring a phone makes sense.  I suggest that you wait until your child is often attending activities without you or without a supervising adult.  Have periods of time for unplugging such as family dinners and model the behavior you want to see.  Everyone should take that time as a charging break where they plug their phones in and leave them plugged and out of sight for the duration of the meal.  Turn off your phone and give your child your full attention sometimes to model how they should treat others in their lives and allow them to feel truly important to you.  Leave phones at home when you are going out as a family or just have one person take a phone for emergency use only.  Most importantly, buy them an old fashion alarm clock and have them turn off their phones and leave them in a basket near the front door at least a half an hour before bed.  Take your children to volunteer to help those in need to teach them the importance of empathy.  Finally, talk to them often about things they might encounter on line so that they learn how to avoid, and respond to, the pitfalls that may come with technology.

Comments

[Carridine Poran]

NOW I am all caught up!

[Carridine Poran]

I enjoy these essays very much. I hope there will be more of them.